10,000 Things

I am on the road to wellness, with confidence, joy and gratitude. It is almost impossible to express the relief of learning that the cancer had not spread at all, that the aggressive cells had disappeared, and that I do not need chemotherapy. It is a huge blessing – a miracle that I feel has been co-created through Divine love, the prayers of friends and families, and the focused efforts and practices that Cliff and I used to support healing. We are still astonished in a way at this outcome. Every day I say to myself again – I am cancer free – I do not need chemo – I am on the path to healing, vitality and vibrant well being. My appreciation for all the love and support I have received is just boundless.

Our trip to the Block Center for Integrative Cancer Treatment in Chicago was just fantastic and we would recommend it to anyone facing a cancer diagnosis. We were delighted that Dr. Block agreed with our Cleveland Clinic doc that chemotherapy was not needed. Both doctors recommended that we consult with a radiology oncologist to weigh the pros and cons of very targeted radiation treatments called brachytherapy. This would be done to prevent a recurrence of cancer specifically in the upper vagina, not to treat a current condition. Dr. Kebria said that having this therapy could improve my likelihood of non-recurrence by about 3%. We feel that this is a very small improvement weighed against the side effects of the treatment. Even so, we will follow through and consult with two doctors who are experts in this field. They can tell us exactly what the statistics are for cases like mine, with no spread of cancer outside the uterus, and with a biopsy showing high grade cancer cells, but pathology reports showing that no high grade cancer was present at all at the time of surgery – our miracle. This will be a big decision and we will do our best to make a good one.

At Block Center we also had a chance to meet with a counselor and talk about the emotional issues that this situation has brought up for us. Cliff and I are talking a close look at our lifestyle, emotional health, workload, and how we manage stress – searching for the ways optimize balance and promote healing in our lives. I am so lucky that Cliff is totally willing to participate in this inquiry, so we can work together as a couple to create a joyful, healthy life together.

The nutritional counseling was also fantastic. The Block Center advocates a modified macrobiotic diet. This means that the diet is plant-based, using vegetables, legumes, soy foods and whole grains as the base of the diet. These foods are supplemented with small amounts of fruit, healthy oils, nuts and fish. In general, this is the way Cliff and I have been eating for 30 years, minus quite a few deserts on my part. I tend to choose “healthy” deserts, but I do like sweets. The Block Center is quite firm about no sugar and no dairy, both which are associated with cancer proliferation. They discourage the use of any sweeteners at all, including honey and maple syrup, except for rare occasions. Rice syrup is the preferred sweetener if any. Fruits are encouraged, but kept down to one or two servings a day.

I have reflected a bit on my sweet tooth and what it will be like to go without those yummy treats. I have already had a “taste” of that, since I ate almost no sweeteners during the five weeks between diagnosis and surgery. I feel that now I can learn to get the sweetness of life not from sugar, but from music, from friendship, from the wind in the tress, from yoga, from laughter and from helping others. We all know that these are truly the things that make our lives delicious!

The Block Center suggests a big daily regimen of supplements, close to what Cliff has had me using since August. The staff was all quite impressed with Cliff’s knowledge about herbs and supplements, and I felt very proud of my amazing and knowledgeable husband! In our meeting, the nutritionist was able to suggest a few tweaks to my current list of supplements. The real fine-tuning will come once they look at my blood work. They took 12 (!) vials of blood, and will let us know via a phone consultation exactly how we can adjust my diet and supplements for my optimal health.

This week I returned to almost my whole teaching schedule. I am teaching from a seated position and not getting too exhausted. It has been interesting to have to teach completely through my words, not having the ability to walk around and do hands-on adjustments. Because I am not doing the poses with the group and have a steady vantage point for the whole class, I am seeing the students with a new clarity. It has been a good exercise for me to look at my students with fresh eyes, and to try to be inspiring and precise with my verbal instructions. Being back in the studio is just a delight.

I am reflecting on all the ways that my healing has come about and how it will continue to unfold. I am fortunate to have the help of so many teachers and healers who have guided and supported me for the last six weeks and will continue to do so. As I said in my last post, the doctor could not give any really plausible explanation for how and why my high-grade cancer cells disappeared, but that is what happened. I feel it is the combined pranic force of 10,000 things – your love, prayers and practices, acupuncture, massage, craniosacral therapy and other healing modalities, diet and supplements, affirmations and use of imagery, and on and on. All of this along with, perhaps, some Divine infusion of grace to help me. As humans we can’t really know – it is a mystery. But I do know that I am deeply grateful, and ready to embrace life with a heart full of love, thanks and joy.

Peace,
Karen