The Power of Now

The first word in the Yoga Sutras is atha – now. In a sense that word sums up the entire teaching, that we can discover the true nature of reality and consciousness through the ongoing practice of present moment awareness. Remaining in the present is the fundamental anchor that is helping me stay clear of fear and misery. In this sense, life is no different, as the challenge to be fully awake to this moment continues as ever.

Cliff and I just took a lovely vacation in Ontario where we enjoyed some fabulous theater, great hikes and beautiful garden tours. To view a few pictures, you can visit my Facebook Photos. For the most part, I was able to relax and appreciate the trip. At other times, my mind was pulled into regret, nostalgia, fear and hope – all different forms of not being in the now.

Regret is what I call “negative past” – wishing one had done something differently. Less sugar, less stress, less work, more meditation, more vegetables. (Although it is doubtful that I could have eaten any more broccoli!) Nostalgia is “positive past” – wishing I could wake up and not have cancer, and go back to my previous carefree life. Of course the truth is that I suffered then, too. And while I might now think that the causes of those sufferings were trivial, they felt significant at the time.

Even more compelling is the pull of the habitual mind into the future. Fear is “negative future” – and with cancer fear of the future is hard to avoid. Will they find more cancer? What will the pathology report say? How will I respond to chemo? The questions and fears are infinite and the ego will always think up more things to be afraid of. The only solution to that misery is to do what is before me today. Practice yoga, play the piano, go for a walk, run the studio, cook dinner, read a book. Mantra repetition is helping me a great deal, along with real faith that all the healthy lifestyle decisions I have made for the last thirty years have equipped me to get through this with ease.

On the surface, hope may seem to be a positive attitude, but hope is still “positive future” – not present moment awareness. I can be positive, optimistic and confident that all will go well. That is different from hoping for specific outcomes, that the cancer has not spread or that I won’t need chemo. As Arjuna tells Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita, we must do right action for its own sake, without lust after results. Only then can we be free.

So I remain happy in the moment, knowing that I have so much going for me. A good diet, now enhanced. Yoga practice. Knowledge of yoga philosophy and buddha dharma to keep my mind steadily aligned with truth. An incredible network of family, friends and students whose love is pouring out to me. Fantastic resources for imagery, Reiki, massage, acupuncture and more from our wonderful healing community. And my amazing husband Cliff, whose love, support, knowledge and humor are the greatest blessings of my life.

In this moment,
Karen